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18

Jul

EXCITED TO GO AWAY TO CAMP HORIZON TOMORROW FOR A WEEK!

16

Jul

sense to me sir

so tired so lazy

so lethargic

i must go through this

or live through this

it has to be

or maybe or maybe

i sit too much

i’m tired. 

i’m listening to bill burr

i don’t care about the lady’s husband on meds

i don’t care about the lady behind me

it’s alright. 

the summer is almost over. 

winter and fall to come. 

i have something in my bowels. 

sitting in this cube. 

14

Jul

milling around

brain my break my bleed

im dead insane dying and want to mention there not being a god

no relief, just pressure. 

fuck you. 

fuck you fuck you. 

be careful i’m talking to the universe they say. 

tell the universe how it’s let me down. 

how there was too much work and not enough play

too much evolution and not enough enjoying. 

not enough just there

celebrating bliss like we should

not enough royal beheading to you my enemy

no that would be to good for you. 

broiling alive, anything bringing you nearer nirvana.

so be here with the crazies. Sit here with a tired reality. 

a sad self. 

in myself. too much inside the me. 

too much work for no reason. 

too much pushing. 

too much weight. 

pushups 

squats

time

fear 

well. i’m let down. 

too much not knowing enough. 

not being daring enough. 

too much blame. 

too much time. 

escape. 

patience. 

alone. boredom. 

no friends. no one to depend on. 

alone. 

alienated. 

tired. 

work. let down. 

i didn’t do it. i wasn’t perfect. 

i wasn’t a success ma. 

too much pressure. 

tired. 

no sun. 

not motivated. 

vanity. 

hunger. drug addiction. 

lack of discipline. 

nothing matters. 

here’s the outbreath 

nothing matters

thank god no kids

no spouse

no mortgage

just my college debt for a lackluster creative writing degree. 

just being an american in the 21st century. cubicle. 

podcasts. music. deadlines. 

what am i doing? 

is playing the guitar making me a slave to the man?

a tool to propagate something i don’t understand?

entertain or be entertained, two option. blue or red right or left

black or white. 

money

do it for money

how are you gonna….money. 

food. no work. dirk, farming. 

eating food. 

inner peace

outside satisfaction. 

Something or another that can’t be happened. 

complete. 

anything. we’re all let down. 

good. be sad . be failed. 

worthless. 

not needing to have worth bestowed upon it. 

yet like a spoon. does something. 

13

Jul

On Jealousy.

Your lyric smile,

your licorice grin:

tasty, tasty, tasty.

As if you were stealing away

As if you were going to stay.

As if you were getting off

scot-free.

Lies. All lies.  

The biggest greatest most human fear 

is that you don’t need me.

But “me” dies

and “me” lies; 

"me" never was.

I had me believe…

that you had me believe…..

that your mention of hate….

is against me.

I wonder how you think of me.

If you believe in me…

like I wish I believed in you.

I wonder if you hate me so.

I wonder if you’d like to know,

I’m jealous of you.

But babe I stand nowhere and

you and I are already barely conscious. 

It feels great to live the good denial.  

So I’ll stand nowhere for awhile and 

fall surreptitiously.

It’s good for me,

all these human feels.

12

Jul

real-hiphophead:

Taintnojigga:

Jay-Z and Jaz-O, circa 1988. Check out how Hov is already draped in gold jewelry, earned from his hustlin’ days.

Jaz-O, the man Jay-Z bit his whole style from

real-hiphophead:

Taintnojigga:

Jay-Z and Jaz-O, circa 1988. Check out how Hov is already draped in gold jewelry, earned from his hustlin’ days.

Jaz-O, the man Jay-Z bit his whole style from

harlansghost:

Amy Winehouse by Jason Mercier

harlansghost:

Amy Winehouse by Jason Mercier

poet’s machine gun

i dont mind that blanket sky folding over me 

i dont mind staying home 

i dont mind my lover walking out the door

i do mind all of her clothes off from my floor

the candle and the carpet are moving through and through

and again i am in the eye of some strange storm. 

i feel it again. quite rightly. 

i’ve been meaning to sell my soul at the crossroads , ‘round 11 pm 2night

that growing older feeling

that needing to move on

as if the bottoming out floor contains all your essential necessities 

and all you have to do is just 

is just fall through it. 

puff another bowl 

strike another match. 

be blue. 

be with the black sky. 

lilac lyrics

summer happenstance. again. 

vinebox:

if money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

image

eyeforireland:

I love how Dublin is an old yet young city.

eyeforireland:

I love how Dublin is an old yet young city.